ten days in laos

At the time of my writing this, I have been solo traveling in Laos for over a week.  It wasnt until I had nearly crossed the border into Laos that I realized that this was my first experience solo traveling abroad.  My trip has not disappointed.  Even a week here has felt like a month. 

Oddly enough, my trip to Laos started as an obligation to the Thai government.  The contract with my high school was completed on September 30th, and the government wanted me out of the country the same day.  

Thailand has been good for me, and I intended to stay for arguably the best time of year, winter, when it isnt too hot, and seldom rains.  I was able to get employed at the Chiang Mai University Language Institute doing some part-time work in exchange for a visa and work permit that would allow me to stay in the country longer.  The catch is that to get a new visa, you need to leave the country and visit a Thai embassy to process your paperwork, a process that takes three days.  

During the week leading up to my departure, I had to submit all my grades, attend the obligatory going away parties, pack up all my stuff, sign a lease at a new apartment, and pick up at least half a pound of paperwork at Chiang Mai University. Needless to say, I had a lot going on.

By 5 am on Friday morning, I was on the move, headed up to Chiang Rai and then boarded another bus to take me to Chiang Khon, the Thai city across the Mekong river from Huay Xai, Laos.  The journey took me about 6 hours all together.  In Chiang Khon, I got a Visa on arrival for 40 USD.  I pulled out about 10,000 bhat, and exchanged 3,000 bhat for around 1.3 million Lao kip.  I later found out that the kip has become hugely inflated.  Only a year ago, 1 USD got you 9,000 kip.  Today, 1 USD is exchanged for over 17,000 kip, and this upward trend shows no sign of stopping anytime soon.   

Around 1 pm, I crossed the Mekong River and watched as the Thai flags abruptly changed to the colors of the Peoples Republic of Lao.  When I got to the other side, I  realized that I was the only foreigner and had no one to share the 20 km tuk-tuk with into town.  Doubly unfortunate for me, there was only one tuk-tuk.  They could pretty much name their price, which turned out to be 300,000 kip (18USD).  Even I could tell was damn near extorsion.  With everyone involved knowing my poor leverage, I had no choice but to accept the ridiculous rate.  So, my first experience in Laos was not incredible, but as I was driving into town, a group of scooters with 4 kids per all pulled up behind the tuk-tuk and were asking me where I was from, smiling and laughing all the while.  They seemed overjoyed to share that moment with me, and this quickly dispelled my displeasure at the tuk-tuk driver and brought in excitement at what was to follow.

My plan once I got into HuayXai was to book a two-day slow boat on the Mekong River down to Luang Prabong. However, I soon discovered that because of COVID, the slowboat was only departing twice a week, instead of daily like before.  Unlucky timing required me to wait three days for the boat which I simply wasn’t willing to do.  Instead, I opted to explore northern Laos, which turned out to be a hidden blessing.  I enjoyed a beautiful sunset on the Mekong River paired with my very first BeerLao, a delicious red curry, and a few cheeky cigs.  

I’ve always maintained that I am purely a vacation smoker, I have to get on a plane or cross a border to buy a pack of cigs.  I’m proud to say that I steadfastly hold true to this rule, although it doesn’t make my vacations very healthy.  I was shocked to learn that the Lao brand of cigs is only 5000 kip, or around 30 cents.  Beerlao is also incredibly good, in fact, it’s my new favorite lager.  At just 17,000 kip ($1) for a 640 mL bottle, it is hard to have just one.  

The next morning, I took a bus to Luang Namtha, a rural town in Northern Laos.  I was the only foreigner among the 12 people on the bus, and only one spoke English (and just barely).  Nevertheless, a few people were very eager to engage with me and I did my best to converse back with my very limited Thai.  

What you may not know is that Thai and Lao are very similar languages, the closest in resemblance in all of southeast Asia.  The languages both use the same script, have the same numbers, and share so many other commonalities that speakers of each language can understand each other pretty well.  Similar to the differences between Spanish and Portuguese I imagine.  

On my journey to Luang Namtha, I realized pretty quickly that the only reason I had data before was because Thailand was just across the river.  As I journeyed farther into the mountainous annals of Lao, I realized I had no data and my iPhone became an iPod.  Soon after, I decided to continue on like this throughout my journey so I could soak everything in properly.  

When I arrived in Luang Namtha, I promptly checked into a guesthouse called Zuella and rented a motorbike for the day so I could properly explore the area.  I learned that there was a nice 35 km loop around the city that went by some vistas, villages, waterfalls, and the like, so I asked the guesthouse owner for a map (Google Maps was gonna be of little use), and headed on my merry way.  I got myself lost a few times, asked villagers for directions, crossed a very sketchy wooden bridge, and about halfway through, I got a flat tire. 

What concerned me especially were the dark storm clouds rushing over the land, as I drove my wounded bike very slowly back to a main intersection.  I pointed to my flat tire when I passed people and they seemed to get the idea that I was looking for a mechanic.  People pointed several different ways, but an old lady took particular interest in my situation. 

Not only did she point, but she nearly dragged me to a seemingly empty store and screamed in Lao for the owners to come and help me.  When a woman came down, the old lady pointed to the freezer, and in her own way, encouraged me to buy whatever was inside.  After a few minutes of convincing, I indulged her and bought a tiny packet of frozen milk for 2000 kip.  To her credit, it was delicious, and I was tempted to buy several more.  As I was enjoying my homemade popsicle, the man of the house came down and had a look at my bike.  He then began the incredibly long process of changing my tire.  All the while, the old lady incessantly talked to me in Lao using the most random hand gestures you can imagine.  At one point, she was talking about rowing down the river, and at another, she was talking about sniffing something and pointing to a village across the street, at least this is what I assume she was talking about.  As time went on, I began to suspect that she was insane.  My suspicions were confirmed later when the shop owner pointed to the old lady, to his head, and then slashed his hand across his throat.  

About halfway through the tire change, those interminable rainclouds unleashed hell.  I was suddenly in the top three most violent rainstorms I had ever experienced.  Thankfully I was under shelter, but the sound of rain hitting the tin roof above me was so loud I could hardly hear myself think.  Thankfully, the storm only lasted about 20 minutes and provided sweet relief from the old lady’s incessant talking.  Just as the storm let up, my bike was ready to go.  I paid 50,000 kip ($3) for parts and almost 1 hour labor.  I thanked the man and tipped him an extra 10,000 because it felt criminal to pay him so little, and drove off before the lady could say another word.  

Back at the guesthouse, I discovered that for whatever reason, Israelis were the prevailing nationality… 12 out of the 15 people staying at Zuella as a matter of fact.  I took this opportunity to educate myself on all things Israel because to my recollection, I had never had the opportunity to sit down with an actual Israeli and hear their perspective of life there.  

I never took a side on the Israel-Palestine conflict because there was too much I didn’t understand to decisively come on one side of the issue, I will say though, that I felt more support towards the Palestinians based on some of the media I consume.  My conversation with the Israelis was wide-ranging.  I learned that they all are required to serve in the military, that many do not begin university until they are 22 or 23, and that Televive is one of the most expensive cities in the world to live in.

After my new Israeli friends hit the hay, they were replaced with a new companion.  A very interesting fellow named Ray.  He was about 70 years old and had lived enough adventures to fill up several books.  You can find his website here https://www.peoplesoftheworld.org/.  He was in the country to report on Chinese influence in Laos, namely, regarding the newly installed high-speed rail across the northern part of the country.  At the time of our visit to Laos, the railway was only 10 months old, yet had completely transformed tourism there.  The train ran from the border of China to the Capital of Vientienne, making a trip that would easily be over 20 hours by bus, and take less than 3 hours by high-speed train.  What Ray was interested in however was the last stop on the train before China.  The Chinese government has leased a fair bit of land from the Lao government for 99 years and is building out a city that will eventually be home to 300,000 Chinese workers.  Rays plan?  To travel to this city and take pictures of the development happening, and report on one of many instances of China taking over a region by economic means alone.  I am anxiously awaiting his blog post on the matter.  

The next day, I made the trip to this fabled high-speed train, and the experience was honestly surreal.  Laos is very much a developing country, and the infrastructure reflects that fact.  The sleek and modern Chinese railway seems out of place there, like an iPhone in the 1970s.  My experience with the staff (all Chinese) was interesting.  I couldn’t wear a hat while paying for my ticket (even though the guy who told me so was wearing one himself), and the woman who gave me my ticket sterilized the cash I paid for it.  When I got into the station, I had to go through security and give up a pocketknife I got from my brother Jeff and his family for Christmas, which was a real bummer.  When I got into the waiting area, there was no wifi, and no toilet paper (or bum gun),  which I’m very grateful to have realized before I relieved myself.

When the train got closer, we were organized into groups based on which car we would be in, so boarding could happen quickly.  Boarding did, in fact,  happen very quickly, we were not stopped for more than 90 seconds, and the train departed the station at exactly the scheduled time.  I can’t deny that I was impressed.  

The views were spectacular.  As the train built up to a speedy clip of 100 mph, gorgeous and intricate mountains rushed by my window.  In a little over an hour, we arrived in the ancient city of Luang Prabong. The same trip by bus would have taken nearly 9 hours.  

I spent four days in Luang Prabong, and seeing how what I’ve written so far only covers the first 3 days of my trip, I’ll do my best to condense things a bit.  

Luang Prabong is a historic city.  It used to be the capital of a Laos kingdom called Lan Xang, meaning, Land of a Million Elephants.  It is tucked away in the northern mountains of Lao, at the confluence of the Mekong and Nam Khan rivers.  It is considered a UNESCO world heritage site, so you can’t walk ten feet without tripping over a temple of some kind.  For 60 years, Luang Prabong was part of French Indochina and the French influence can be clearly seen in the architecture and food.  All in all, it’s a quaint, beautiful town, quite unlike anywhere I’ve been before.

The first day I arrived, I took it easy, walking around admiring the ancient temples next to beautiful French colonial buildings.  I took a hike up Phousi Hill, a picturesque viewpoint at the center of town.  I met many Thai tourists and did my best to converse with them in Thai by making comments about the weather. 

The following day, I decided to rent a motorbike and travel to the famous Kuang Si waterfall.  The journey was about 45 minutes and I was fortunate not to get another flat tire.  When I got there, I discovered the most spectacular waterfall I’d ever laid eyes on.  Pictures simply do not do it justice.  Totally mesmerizing.  

I was able to climb to the top of the waterfall, which was a huge undertaking.  Soaked in sweat, I arrived at an oasis nearly in the clouds.   Clear blue water, in deep pools, overlooking a tremendous view of a mountainous jungle with water cascading down below.  I said hey to some other travelers who were enjoying the water and jumped in. The water was fricken cold but unbelievably refreshing.  I explored the little inlets, taking caution to the possibility of the massive snakes who I imagine would be quite content in a place like this.  

The national park was about to close, and so I headed down after about a half hour of fun in that oasis.  I caught up to the other travelers who I said hi to earlier, and made typical traveler conversation.  I learned they were from Denmark, and their names were Aja and Rosa.  It happened to be Aja’s 22nd birthday and the girls invited me to help them celebrate later.

The ride back was a tough one.  I took this photo about 10 minutes after departing the waterfall, and as you can see, it looks picturesque. 

But then it kept on getting darker, I saw storm clouds approaching Luang Prabong from the East, and lightning lit up the sky.  Soon, I was in a torrential downpour in the darkness.  Sadly, this helped cause my second-ever bike crash.  I escaped with only a minor scratch on my hand and arm, but my favorite shirt was ruined.  

I got back totally drenched and a little bloodied, but it was nothing a shower couldn’t fix.  Later, I went out to celebrate Aja’s birthday and all three of us ended up on my scooter headed to a bowling alley.  You see, because Luang Prabong is a historic city, there are no bars open past 11:30.  However, the bowling alley has the green light to operate into the wee hours of the morning.  It’s not a club that pretends to be a bowling alley, it’s literally just a bowling alley that sells beers and whip-its.  We played a few frames and called it a night at 2:30 am.  

The next day, I decided to drive to Pak Ou cave, a very sacred landmark for Lan Xang people going back hundreds, maybe even thousands of years.  This cave has thousands of Buddha statues from many periods and artists.  I got lost a few times on the way there, but I eventually I got transportation from a guy who had just finished fishing in the Mekong.  He took me on his boat, and we made a 15-minute journey through the sweltering heat, and past huge tourist groups on massive boats.  I won’t deny that I felt pretty cool for taking the path less traveled.  The cave was interesting, but in this case, it felt like it was the journey and not the destination that made the trip worth it.  

The next morning, I woke up at 5 am to see the monks of Luang Prabang receive food from the villagers and tourists.  When I left my guesthouse, I was overwhelmed by a pain in my foot.   It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before, sharp searing pain shooting up my leg.  I only made it 50 feet before I had to stop and sit down on the curb.  There I was…immobile and loaded up with Laotian Kip.  It was like the merchants could smell the blood in the water.  

Within mere seconds, a lady was trying to hawk alms at me.  Mostly sticky rice, but some other goodies wrapped in pandan leaves.  I said no, and tried to hobble away but the pain was too much and I didn’t make it 30 feet before I had to sit back down again.  The merchant, who was in hot pursuit, was joined by two other women with alms to sell, and all three of them badgered me to buy their food.

This time, I got up and tried to run away, but the pain was too intense.  I almost fell over.  When I lifted my head, I discovered that there were now five Laotian women crowded over me, shouting over each other in broken English trying to clinch the sale.  

On the verge of tears, I tried one more time to rid myself of these merchants, but it was of no use.  I made it only 10 feet before I had to relieve my foot,  It was all I could do to hand over my money to make them go away.  They had spotted my weakness, and gone in for the kill.  All I had to show for this traumatic episode was a bunch of sticky rice which I handed out to the dozens of monks in orange robes passing by.  All the magic of what was supposed to be a magical experience was sucked out by late-stage capitalism.

However, the day was saved by the morning market, where all the people of Luang Prabong go to get their groceries.  There were beautiful fruits of every variety, cockroaches futility scrambling to get out of an oiled bowl, fried rat, and of course the normal things you would expect at a market.  The merchants sat on the ground and had their goods laid out on blankets.  

When it came time to leave this beautiful city, I had the option of taking the train or the bus to Vientiane.  The train was more expensive, and the Chinese created too many steps to buy the ticket, so I opted for the bus.  Biggest mistake of the trip.

When I got to the bus station, I put my things on the seat with the most legroom and wrote the beginning of this blog in the waiting area.  At one point, I looked behind me to see if people were going into the bus yet, and to my horror, I saw my seat being taken out of the bus to make room for a moped.  Before I had time to gather my thoughts, everyone piled onto the bus, leaving only the seat in the back left corner.  Someone did me the courtesy of placing my things on that chair, the bastards.  

Begrudgingly, I sat in my seat, with my knees nearly up to my nipples.  Another 15 minutes, and we were off to Vientiane, a journey I was told would take around 4 hours.  I am so grateful to have slept for the first two hours of the bus ride, against all odds.  When I awoke, I was being thrown in every direction in what has to be the worst-maintained road I’ve ever been on.  

Full rivers were running through this road.  We often had to swerve to avoid boulders the size of ovens, and potholes wide enough to bury three cows.  There was no avoiding the bumps in between these obstacles, however, and the passengers were unwillingly thrown into a miserable dance that only a severely neglected mountain road can offer.  

Around four hours in, I checked my GPS to see that we had only cleared about a third of the required distance.  I looked to my left to see the bullet train wiz by us, its passengers suspended in a lighting-fast, unimaginably smooth train car.  I let out the biggest sigh of my life.  

The bus ride from hell continued at the same miserably slow clip, at no time faster than 15 mph.  The hours ticked by slow as could be.  I was in agony.  On the verge of screaming in agony.  I am not even being dramatic, it really was that bad.  The windows wouldn’t open, there was no light to read by, and eventually, my headphones died.  There was nothing to do but wait for the experience to be over.

Thankfully after 7 hours, we reached Vang Viang, and the road from there to Vientiane was paved.  The last third of the distance was covered in a little over an hour.  Freedom never tasted so good.

My last three days in Laos were all about getting my new work visa with some fun mixed in.  

The Thai embassy was no joke.  They took their jobs very seriously.  Every t needed to be crossed, and every i dotted…metaphorically of course, because all the documentation was in Thai script which looks nothing like the English alphabet.  I had to wait for nearly an hour two different times because my application wasn’t up to snuff.  Then, disaster struck. 

I had to pay 3000 thai bhat, and I only had 2200.  I needed roughly the equivalent of USD 20.  This would be of absolutely no issue if I was in Thailand.  I have a Thai bank, and there are ATMs everywhere.  But alas, I was in Laos, where they use the Lao kip.  The economy is in freefall.  

I had 30 minutes before the embassy closed for the day, so I sprinted to the nearest ATM.  There was nothing in it.  I ran to the next one about 4 minutes away.  Also nothing.  I was starting to really sweat, and I was on the verge of panicking.  I asked my hostel to loan me Bhat, but they didn’t understand a word I was saying.  I ran to the guys charging $1 per piece of paper copied (a great racket to run right across from the Thai embassy).  I explained my situation, and I guy who I would not have trusted under literally any other circumstance (one in which I was not totally desperate), agreed to take me on his tuk tuk for an ATM tour.  We visited 4 ATMS before we finally found one that had kip in it.  Laos, I know you’ve been through alot, but that was absolutely ridiculous.

I paid the man more than he deserved, at his pressing, and exchanged my kip for bhat, and made it back to the embassy with 2 minutes to spare.  Talk about a sigh of relief.  

It was then a three-day waiting game to get the Visa, so I decided to go back north to Vang Viang, one of the most touristy cities in Laos, and for good reason.  It’s a mountain town with all the adventure activities a traveler could hope for.  From hot air balloon rides to paragliding.  

I was there for two and a half days and made friends with a Finnish pro wrestler.  Cool guy, on the last day, he dyed his hair blue on a whim.  I’ve attached some pictures of some of the highlights, but in the interest of brevity, I will only tell one story from that trip.  

I decided to go tipsy tubing with my hostel and a few others, which turned out to be a great decision.  We got underway, beers in hand.  The mountains all around were gorgeous.  Every 15 minutes or so, some men would literally fish us out of the river so we could get more beer.  By fishing, I mean they would throw us lines and drag us in.  By the fourth stop, everyone was pretty hammered, and it was a good thing too because it started to pour down rain.  

The rain did not affect everyone’s determination to have a good time, it may have even stiffened our resolve.  People were dancing on tables, as what felt like buckets of water were being dumped from the heavens.  It was a moment I will never forget.  Everyone was enraptured with joy and a love for the present moment.

To make an already very long blog post a little bit shorter, I returned to Vientiane and got my Visa without issue.  I took a night bus back to Chiang Mai, passing through a city that had just a day before undergone a terrible tragedy where a man stabbed some 27 children to death before killing his family and himself.  

Being a teacher of many Thai children this age, it made me angry to tears that someone could be so cruel.  It was a stark reminder that although I had had an amazing ten days in Laos, and seen the very best in people, there is also an evil lurking inside humanity.  It’s all we can do to bring positivity to the people around.